I Don't Have a Dream

Updated: Aug 14, 2020

“No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to flee and fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams.” ~ Jesse Jackson

Hey y’all, long time no see! Lol, it’s only been about two weeks, but I feel like I haven’t posted in forever. Again, thank you all who have continuously read, especially those that have read during my small hiatus! I truly value everyone that takes the time out to read my entries! Every reader is greatly appreciated, and there is more to come! This entry isn’t necessarily psychology/mental health-related, but this was nice to just write without a “prompt“ so to speak. I hope y’all enjoy it!

American dreams... funny aren’t they? That one thing that you want to accomplish. The thing you put all your time, effort, energy, and money into. The thing that keeps you going in times of question and doubt. The one thing that your entire essence is dedicated to. Your ultimate goal in life. The reason why you breathe. 

Or maybe it’s the typical rags to riches story that the media eats up. You know, the one that goes… “From Only Having a Bag of Chips to Being Everything and a Bag of Chips: Overnight Superstar Sensation Opens Up About the Poor Little Broke Person that Hollywood is Going to Tokenize.” Excuse the long title lol, but I think y’all know where I am going with this. The typical story of how someone was so dirt poor, but they dare to fight against oppression and become this wealthy mogul. But, it seems like they always leave out the concept of opportunity.

If I’m being honest, is society even going to allow me to have my dream, let alone fulfill it? Is America going to allow me to simply breathe tomorrow to dream of this so-called dream? 

I have no dreams here in America. My dreams were not granted. I’ll tell you why. 

I cannot afford to dream while living in a daily nightmare. How exactly can I dream when I have to fight every day to just be seen? The plate of an average Black American is already full as it is. We have to be smarter, think faster, more athletically fit, be nicer, be more professional, and overall be better than our white counterparts just to be acknowledged as the “other”. Oh, not to mention, while we have to do all of those things, we also have to: live in constant fear for our lives, educate our innocent children about societal disadvantages, suck it up in times of chaos, live in unprotected spaces, and be discriminated against in every institution possible. Just to top it all off with having to fight for our right to be here as if we asked. While we’re at it, not only do I have to fight outside of my community, but I have to fight inside it as well? The constant bickering on light skin vs. dark skin, preference in interracial relationships, being Oreos, and more take a toll just like fighting with The Man. Oh, don’t be “too Black” to the point that everybody knows you just ghetto and trifflin’. But, don’t be “too non-Black” because your Black card is definitely REVOKED since you don’t know nor love yourself. Also, you can’t be too complacent in the plight of Black Lives Matter, because you’re a coon and you don’t care about your people. Meanwhile, you also CANNOT be too militant, sit yo Malcolm X head ass down before you ruin everything with your big ass mouth. Don’t get me started on how difficult it is to be Black and a woman (cue eye roll). No sir, I did not ask you to touch me just because I am wearing booty shorts and a tank top. It’s over 100 degrees in Merced, relax. And, I am nobody’s bitch just because I know what I want and I will get that with or without you. 

And you expect me to squeeze in “dreaming” into my overly packed schedule? 

I’m sorry, I don’t have time to throw extravagant parties for people who don’t even care about me and look at green lights from across a dock like some folks (I really hope y’all caught this Great Gatsby reference lol). American Dreams are commercialized ideals that are projected to the mass, but not granted to the mass. We were not all blessed with opportunities that can open doors to individual uplifting. 

Ideal dreams for me as a young, Black woman does not exist in a society like America. If I had the privilege to dream, I’d picture a place of protection where I do not have to be concerned if I wake up to another news report about a shortened life once lived by a person that looks like me. A place where I would not have a fear of bearing children because I know they will have prosperous lives without being hunted. A place where I can pioneer my OWN dream in peace without question. But, this society cannot give me my ideals simply by choice. America chooses who’s worthy of such dreams, and I am far from being on the worthy list. Quite frankly, I do not want their dreams. 

Rather than their dreams, I strive for my purpose. This purpose is pure in its intent and solely bigger than me. It is to empower my people to have our ideal dreams long as we stand on this land in any way possible. And that is greater than any American dream.


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